The key to a strong marriage is effective communication. Healthy military couples are a living testament to this fact; they must communicate with both physical and cultural divides.
Establishing healthy and open communication in a relationship is challenging. It takes work, and above all, it takes trust. Discussing one’s feelings, wants and needs opens new heights of vulnerability for yourself to your partner. Although it’s scary, gaining a deeper understanding of each other will only make your marriage more resilient. We can guarantee you will learn something about yourself and your loved one you may never have known.
Douglas Stone, author of “Difficult Conversation: How to Discuss What Matters Most” shares in his book, “The single most important thing [you can do] is to shift [your] internal stance from “I understand” to “Help me understand.” Everything else follows from that…”
If you are nervous about having difficult conversations with your partner that you have been longing to have, HOPE has teamed up with Sarah and John Dale of Brave Love TV to help prepare you.
Today, Sarah and John’s marriage defines resilience, but if you were to ask them how they were five years ago, they would have told you they decided to go their separate ways. Through HOPE and perseverance, they were able to break through that dark time in their marriage and build a more resilient marriage. You can read their love story here.
HOPE Social Worker Ariel Mulzoff, who conducts our Resilient Warrior and Resilient Family courses, devised 10 questions that can help build resiliency in a marriage. Sarah and John volunteered to do a Q&A to show how to have these difficult conversations in their favorite place – the car.
Ride along with them as they answer the questions below!
Questions to Build a Resilient Marriage
- When I am stressed, how can you tell?
- When you are stressed, what do you need from me?
- How could we express to each other when we need a listening ear and when we are looking for input/suggestions on how to “fix” the problem?
- How much conversation, per day, would be ideal for you?
- How much alone/meditation time would you like to have per day?
- What are some of your favorite self-care activities to do alone? With me?
- How can I support you in taking the time you need for self-care?
- What could I do to help support your achieving restful sleep?
- What could I do with you or in support of you caring for yourself through physical activity?
- I become more anxious and have a difficult time continuing conversations when you…
Two resources to help you grow as individuals and as a couple.
|1. Resilient Warrior and Resilient Family
|2. Brave Love University
|Resilient Warrior and Resilient Family are educational courses designed to help service members, veterans, military spouses and caregivers cope with stressful events. The course teaches one to control his or her mind and body’s response to stress. When a person can develop positive coping tools to combat the adverse effects of stress, that individual becomes more resilient.
Hope For The Warriors has teamed up with Home Base to provide this course free to our Warriors and the adult caregivers who provide support. The course is offered on a virtual platform from the comfort of the participant’s home with six weeks of content.
|Inspired by Sarah and John? Explore Brave Love University, where they will help you and your loved one overcome your fears with love through a series of classes, one-on-one workshops, support groups and more.
|Apply for services to enroll in an upcoming class
|Learn more about Brave Love University